I just got home after a somewhat long day. This week for me has been up and down. A lot of you know that tonight was the U2charist at my church. It was awesome.(Colecta thank you so much for everything. I truly dont know what I would do without you. You are a true friend. I love you!) More on The U2charist Tomorrow.
Last night, I felt lost. Not sure what to think. Do you ask yourself the question " Do you know where you're going to?". Diana Ross sang that song in "Mahogany". I just felt like driving last night. I had no Idea where I was going. I have that feeling a lot nowadays. I sometimes just get really sad. I just started driving. I was listening to U2 because I was trying memorize my songs.( I truly have CRS syndrome..Ask me what it means if you dont know) I ended up at my Church, St. Lukes.
While sitting in service a few weeks ago, a guy name John sang a song called " Leave the light on". The music is so beautiful. The words have so much meaning.
It was 9pm when I pulled up at the Church and I didnt expect it to be open but God "Left the light on" for me.
"Leave a light on for me Cause i've been a lot of places And I've learned a lot of lessons And the lessons take their toll. Leave a light on So I can look for what's left Of my soul"
I felt empty. I felt hopeless.
I walk in and went into the prayer chapel and knelt before the Altar.
"Leave a light on for me Cause my world keeps getting bigger But my heart's been getting smaller And it chills me to the bone Leave a light on for me Cause I thought I had the answers But now i've got these questions That won't leave me alone"
I knelt there and just pour out my soul and cried. Screamed. Asked for forgiveness and help.
"Leave a light on for me Cause I've always been a fighter But never knew how much of life Was out of my control Leave a light on Cause right now I can't see where to go"
I admitted I didnt know where I was going.
There was this light on for me. I know that God lead me just where he wanted me to go.
What was left of my soul?
I dont want to get into to much detail but it was bad last night and it has been getting worse. This week, I see my psychiatrist. I know that God will have that candle burning for me then too.
I want you to know that there is ALWAYS A light left on for you. And as much as we feel that the light has gone out, it hasnt. It may be hard to see because of all the fog or smoke or whatever it is...But its on. And its on just for you. I know that if hadnt gone to that church last night, I dont know where I would be.
John 8:12 "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."
Last night, I followed the light. Always remember: as long we seek it, the light will never be turned off.
"Leave a light on And maybe this time Leave a light on And maybe this time Leave a light on and maybe this time...I'll believe."
Learning to follow the Light,
Antony
No comments:
Post a Comment