And Dance like no one's watching!

My Senior Quote in High school was "Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And Dance Like no one's watching!". It has such deep meaning on how we should live our life. But I have recently been asking myself " Do I believe this? Do I do this?". I recently found out that I didn't get the new Playhouse Disney Live on stage. I was really sure that I was gonna get it. It hurt. The way that my manager told me wasn't compassionate at all. But you know, I was talking with a friend who is facing foreclosure on a home. I talked with another friend who is facing divorce with the love of her life. I talk with people all the time and I give the advice to "Trust God" and that He will make a way. Am I believe that myself? I know that I have come a long way since I first started working for Disney.( Much thanks to Prayer and Medication). I have a peace about this whole thing. Am I working like I don't need money or loving I've never been hurt? Am I dancing like no one's watching? Not as much as should have. But I know that if I'm on the path that I'm suppose to be, following my heart, doing what God wants me to do, he will make a way. For some reason, I get up and brush myself off and prepare for whats next. Doing this isn't easy but I always have help. I always have something that offers me a hand and a peace of mine. And for that, I'm thankful.

God will make a way,

Where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot seeHe will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new dayHe will make a way, He will make a way.
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me

And rivers in the desert will I see

Heaven and earth will fadeBut His Word will still remain

He will do something new today.
God will make a way.

Antony

http://antonylarry.blogspot.com/

Memories of Christmas Pt.1

Just some thoughts tonight about Christmas memories.

It's hard not having mother here with my this Christmas. Last Christmas, I was in Illinois with Kathy. That was good, but I was running from my feelings. The Christmas before that, I was alone in my apartment. My Godparents and I were having a little disagreement.

This , to me, it my first Christmas without Mother. Thanksgiving, I was working and I then I slept. I went to Colecta's later and ate with her family.

Around this time of year, Mother and I would start decorating for Christmas. I still remember each Christmas ornament, wreath, the Plastic Poinsettias that Adorned the dining room. Everything was just the same. The candles in the windows.

I was telling Colecta I remember the Old 45 Christmas records that mother would play while we decorated. A good portion of my life, she was in a wheelchair, so I would do a lot the decorating by myself (with her direction, of Course). I remember that she always wanted my birth mother, her granddaughter, to be with us. And so did I. But I can remember only one Christmas that she was with us and its kinda painful to go there.

And now here I am. A Christmas in a new place, with new people. Without Mother......

More to come

"Through the years We all will be together, If the Fates allow...."

Antony

http://antonylarry.blogspot.com

Letting Go...

Well I cant believe its been almost 2 weeks since I wrote. Well I'm back. I got over the flu. THANKS BE TO GOD!

Today, I cleaned house. With my recent fight with the flu, I hadn't done any cleaning. And today, I "got r dun". Last week, I had to go to Jacksonville to sing a funeral of a friend of mine. I hadn't been there is 3 months. I had to check on my Godparents and see old friends. While I was there, I collected things that I needed to bring down here. Today, while I was cleaning up, I found things that I hadn't seen in years. Things that I didn't need anymore or things I needed to save. Some things were painful to see. Things that I had forgotten about. I didn't realize how much stuff I had until I went through all this stuff.

There was notebook labeled " Baggage". Inside, I had written things that I was carrying that I really needed to rid from my life. These were things that were holding me back and not allowing me to move forward. I've been trying to let go of somethings for a long time. After some researching and soul searching, I've come up with some thoughts and questions. Let go of what?Let go of the past. Past behavior. Past thoughts. Past actions. Past beliefs.
It's not easy to do. And even though we may say we want to let go, even though we say that we believe in it, that is not enough to make it happen."So, exactly how do I let go?"
Well, when I find myself asking myself that type of question, I think of it kinda like choosing between two different ice cream flavors. How do you chose between vanilla or chocolate? Easy...
You just choose. You see a choice, and then you choose.
Is letting go that easy as that? It can be. It's understanding that the baggage held inside no longer is appropriate to your life now.
What I'm trying to do is drop what was. And accepting what is.
It's giving up the struggle of the past that is bring me down and not helping me to prosper. And
I'm learning that letting go is seeing whats holding me back and any amount of denial, fighting, resisting, arguing, wishing, or bargaining isn't going to change what the situation is.
I'm trying really hard to put this into practice and think of the famous "Serenity Prayer"

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference."

Letting Go, Slowly but surely,

Antony

http://antonylarry.blogspot.com

Flu....YUCK!!!!!!!

Wouldn't you know my luck? The week that I have a call back For Lion King and an audition for Disneyland Hong Kong, I get the flu( Or some version of it). Ive been resting however, I have to go to work. I cant afford to take days off.

Today I had the Call back for Lion King. Im just glad its over with. I did the best that I could under the circumstances.

Im just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Back in January, I got very sick with flu like symptoms but it didn't go away. After several test, it turned out that I had Epstein Bar. The father or mother to MONO: Epstein-Barr virus frequently referred to as EBV most people become infected with EBV sometime during their lives. Symptoms of Epstein-Barr virus are fever, sore throat and swollen lymph glands. Sometimes, a swollen spleen or liver involvement may develop. Heart problems or involvement of the central nervous system occurs only rarely, and infectious mononucleosis is almost never fatal. Although symptoms of infectious mononucleosis usually resolve in 1 to 2 months, EBV remains dormant or latent in a few cells in the throat and blood for the rest of the person's life. Periodically, the virus can reactivate and is commonly found in the saliva of infected persons. This reactivation usually occurs without symptoms of illness. Epstein-barr can recoccur at any time especially after illness or stress.

Since January, I have gotten sick several times. Its just a way of life. I just want to feel better! Hopefully, that will be soon!

Antony

http://antonylarry.blogspot.com