The Eclipse

Tonight was the Lunar Eclipse. Watching it made it me think about a lot of things. This last month as been the hardest of my life.

When a lunar eclipse happens, the earth comes in between the moon and the sun, leaving a reddish tent on the moon.

But something that I found interesting was that, even though there is something blocking the sun and moon, a light still shine on the moon coming from the sun.

Colecta reminded me tonight the sun is bigger than the earth.

It just shows me that, although I feel that God(The Sun;son) is not there, I can still see and feel His light. Because of everything in my life, I may not feel Him like I use too,but He is still there. That light is always there. NO MATTER WHAT!

I really think that was God's way of showing me that nothing can ever block me from His love. He made the sun and moon for a reason and tonight was a prime example that the light doesn't go away just because something is in between it.

Thanks be to God for his light, the Son!(sun)

Antony

http://Antonylarry.blogspot.com

The hardest time of my life

It's been a month since I've blogged. In the last month, My life has changed forever.
Yesterday was february 3rd. Three years ago yesterday, Mother died.
Like I told you before, My Birth parents were drugged addicts. I was raised by my Grandmother(Mother) and my Godmother.
On January 9th, 2008, My Godmother had a massive heart attack and was on a ventatator for three days and died on January 12th. She was the last family I had. She was truly like a mother. We talked everyday. Sometimes several times a day. She called me for no reason and I did the same to her. She was my best friend.
This last month has been really hard. I have been pushed truly into independence. I now have to learn how to live my life without her or mother. I thought that living without mother was hard, but this is harder.
I pick up the phone to call her out habit and then realize she's not there for me to call.
I know God has a plan. But the last 21 years of my life has been rough. I have learned a lot of things. There have been nights that I just want to die. Nights that I really feel like I just want to give up. And I do feel that I dont know what I did to deserve this. My heart is empty. This is real guys. You are gonna see a side of me that even I havent seen. A side that wants to give up and die. But I have the heart of my Godmother and Mother... A surviver. Its not going to be easy AT ALL and its gonna be hard journey. But I know that I have to come out of this stronger.
I am so thankful for my friends like Colecta and Stephanie and Jose who have been there whenever I needed them. Listening to me cry or be angry and still listen and say I love you just like my Godmother did. I love you!

To my Godmother- You have been there for me since I was 6 years old. I remember the times when we use to just go out and have a good time. You never denied me anything that I didnt need and in many cases, wanted. I love you so much. The things that you have taught me will be with my forever. I truly dont know how I am gonna survive without you. You were my rock. Loving me for who I am NO MATTER WHAT! If I could turn back time, I truly would go back to January 8th and tell you so much and try to change things. I wan to THANK YOU for loving me and being there me. I know that you and Mother are walking around heaven all day. Doing what you have talked about. I love you. I miss you. I need you.

You truly are the wind beneath my wings. I love you and I miss you.

Your baby,
Antony (anthony)