A January Moon

This evening, I decided to go for a walk. Today was one of those days when it seemed everyone was on the attack. Since January 1, so many things in my life have changed. Not because I did it, but because life just happened. Even though things have changed so much, I made the decision that I was going to be positive. And Dammit, I have been! It seems that since that time, things have been working against me. I think that I am being tested and I have been passing them. I could tell you stories that would make you want to have stiff drink, but that's not the point of this Story.

On Friday, January 9, a year had passed since my Godmother Collapsed and was put on a ventilator. We talked everyday since I was 6 until that day. However, I tried not to think about it and stay positive.

As I was walking, I looked to the sky and saw a beautiful moon that looked like a penny. It was huge! Its was goldish in tent.
Looking at the moon took me back to this time last year, January 12 2008 to be exact. I remember the Funeral Director coming to my house in Jacksonville and meeting with all of us. I hadn't slept in several days. I made a lot of decisions that night about Godma's funeral but the funny thing is, all I remember is walking outside to think and looking to the sky. I saw the exact same thing I saw tonight.

I began asking things like " is this real?" "Why?" " What Did I do to deserve this?"

I thought about all the things that have happened in my life. I thought of how my Godma was my best friend. The only one I had left who truly understood me.

I remember screaming to God " you already took everyone who was blood but why did you take the one who chose me! Why?"

I sat and cried on the wet grass. I looked up at the moon. It held no answers. It only reminded me that rain or shine, it would still be there at night whether I could see it or not.

It's still not real. As much I try and try to not think about it, I cant. Almost a year has passed. The moon still hangs in the sky. I try to put my best foot forward. But their is still one thing missing from my life.

Antony