Something about me you should know

Ok Im gonna start writing
People want to know why I dont go out anymore and whats wrong with me. At work, Im fine and most other places. Its just very hard to explain. About 6 years ago I was diagnosed with Clinical depression. When people think depression, they think its something you can control. Well its not. Depression is a very real disease. I got this from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

"Although a low mood or state of dejection that does not affect functioning is often colloquially referred to as depression, clinical depression is a clinical diagnosis and may be different from the everyday meaning of "being depressed." Many people identify the feeling of being clinically depressed as "feeling sad for no reason", or "having no motivation to do anything." A person suffering from depression may feel tired, sad, irritable, lazy, unmotivated, and apathetic. Clinical depression is generally acknowledged to be more serious than normal depressed feelings. It often leads to constant negative thinking and sometimes substance abuse or self-harm. Extreme depression can culminate in its sufferers attempting or completing suicide.
Without careful assessment, delirium can easily be confused with depression and a number of other psychiatric disorders because many of the signs and symptoms are conditions present in depression, as well as other mental illnesses including dementia and psychosis.[1]"

This is a very hard thing to deal with. Im my life , it has ruined some really great things. I have had some great relationships. Yes, I have been cheated on and treated badly but I know that my depression has played a role in it.
I am currently in a "transition" stage. I've moved away from home and made a lot of changes. I have a great job. However, something that seems really stupid to the average person can be life and death to a person with depression. Right now, I am in the process of changing meds and seeing a new doctor.
I met a really great guy but my depression and the this transitional stage is a lot more than he can handle and that makes me sad. I really do like him but I need more...but I digress! I just want everyone to have a clear understanding of what depression is and how to deal with it.
I'm one of the lucky ones. Although my depression is VERY BAD right now(I have dont normally admit it, but I know because this is the worst I have felt in a LONG time), I have my faith to sustain me. Most people only think there is one way out, Death. I know that God is helping me get through this and is leading me to the right professionals and friends to help. Some people dont have that and it hurts my heart. We must continue to reach out to people and help them.
A lot of people dont know that i have depression and I have really tried to keep it guarded. People think im always happy. My personality is a very happy one and I want to be happy but Its very much "easier said than done". I will be better soon and want you to know that everyone who cares mean so much to me. Im always here for you... NO MATTER WHAT! You can call me day or night.
Im going to be posting blogs talking about how im doing and more info on Depression... "I can do all things through Christ who gives me stregnth" Phi 4:13
Love and Regards,
Antony